The wedding eve and wedding day

It's the day before the wedding and there's now 21 people spending the night at Raja's home.  Mostly his wife's sisters, their husbands and children. 
Shan the groom has been gone for most of the day doing last minute things and will collect two of his Airforce friends to also come and spend the night.
All the girls are having a show and tell with their sari's and they all look so bright and beautiful.  The older ladies are being quiet conservative with colour but the younger one's are wearing bright colours, some with shoestring backs and others with the more traditional blouse style.
There are two ways to wear a sari, one is the Kandyan style.  That's where the 9mt length of fabric is wound around the body with a frill at the waist.  The rest of the fabric is pleated and pinned to the blouse and arranged over the shoulder.
The other style is the Indian style.  This style is also where the fabric is wound around the body and pleated at the front with the remaining fabric attached to the back of the shoulder and you carry the decorative end over your left arm.  This is the style that I choose.  I think this is a much more glamorous style and more suited to the older woman, like me.
It's time to iron the sari's for the next morning.  We will need to get to bed early as we need to be up at about 4.30am to get dressed and head to the hairdresser for 7am to enable us to leave at 8.30am for a 10am wedding. Yes, I said a 4.30am rise.
Finally it's my turn to iron my sari which is 9 mts of silk fabric.  I'm very nervous that I'llput a hole in it, the irons temperature is unpredictable.  The others seem to have it down pat but I'm becoming frustrated and the more I try the worse I think it looks.
I decide at about 10.30 to give up and go to bed.  Sleep was hard to come by as I was conscious that I needed to be up with the rest of the family.
I'd just nodded off to sleep at around 12.30am when Shan and his two friends arrived home.  Although they tried to be quiet, at that time of the night when all is still, every small noise is amplified.  The sliding gate opens, the car doors bang, voices are loud for that time of the night. You see, my room is at the front of Raja's home and within 4mts of the road and their front garden is basically the car parking area.
The two airforce boys are sleeping in the lounge room which my room comes off.  By the time they shower and settle to sleep it's now close to 1.30am.  All I can think about is that 4.30am will come around very quickly and the more I think the harder it is to sleep.
Over the next few hours, I hear every noise from everyone in the house.  It appears that no one is able to sleep so when 4.30 comes around, I'm awake and up with everyone else.
I see Shan just after I've showered.  He appears very relaxed but I remember those nerves.  He and his two friends need to leave the house at 6am to go to the hotel where the wedding is to be held and meet with the Bride and have photographs taken, so before I know it, the wedding cars arrived and Shan the groom) and his friends are off.
It's time for me to get dressed into the sari before we head to the hairdresser.  One of the neices is dressing me and a couple of other people and time is moving on quickly.  There's no time for breakfast, I don't want to cause any holdups on this very important day.
Nadee comes, on goes the bra with the straps adjusted tightly and then the sari blouse.  No time to be shy here, a lot to do and not much time to do it.  Next goes the underskirt, its a bit too big but not to worry now.  The drawsting at the waistis drawn astight as I've every had anything around my waist.  It's tight because it needs to hold the sari in place.  The sari gets tucked into it.
Now it's time to wrap that 9 mts of fabric around me.  Three times around it goes and then five 6 inch pleats in the front at the right, this all gets tucked into the waist. I really don't know how many safety pins are used to keep it all in place but I'm just praying it's enough.  By now I feel trussed up like a turkey but in a strange way, I feel very elegant.
After the pinning, and tucking, the final stage of attaching the pins at the back of the shoulder which holds the decorative piece in place and some final adjustments can be made once I get back from the hairdresser.
So now, Lakshika and Gayanthika are ready and we're in the tuk tuk heading to the local haridresser.  I have been growing my hair so that I can have some style but when I see the girls here, my hair's still way too short for much at all.  Anyway, I'll try.
I am the first in the chair, the young girls simply says that she can do a small tie up at the back and make some longer curls from the hanging ends.  I agree and trust that she will know what will look nice.  Remember, I have my sari on so she can work with that as well.
After about 20mins, I'm finished and I'm happy with the result.  Lots of curls at the back and a small side sweep of my fringe.  It's combed and teased at the top so it's not flat on my head. 
I head back home alone to do my make up.  It's now close to 8am and I try to eat some breakfast, traditional milk rice and onion sambal.  Two of the sisters were up at 2.30am cooking enough for all of the 23 people who will need to eat breakfast.
After trying to eat a little, I head to the mirror to put on the make up and have the final adjustment of the sari.   I'm just hoping with the humidity that my makeup doesn't run off before we arrive at the hotel.  Anway, the private bus that's been ordered to take us all to the wedding will be airconditioned so it should be OK.
I'm just finished with the make up when the bus arrives. Arjith, a family friend is driving the bus so I know that we will reach there on time.
Everyone is ready but the two girls are still at the hairdresser.  We need to leave the house at 8.30am to make the short but slow trip the 9k's to the hotel.  We all board the bus, the neighbours are all out to see how we all look.  They all call to me to tell me how nice I look.  This makes me very happy.  I feel good wearing a sari to the wedding to make all these friends and neighbours happy and to visibly let them know that I respect their customs.
The decision is made to leave the house and head to the hairdresser and collect the girls there.  It's just a few minutes away and on our way.  We wait and wait for what seems to be an eternity, one of the mothers goes to the salon, she comes out but still no girls.  Finally at 9.10am they appear.  They are beautiful but lots of heckling once they get onto the bus.
Finally we're on our way and Ajith is driving swiftly.  He's blaring the horn to go past everyone on the road in our way.  Once out of the traffic, he drives as if he has a bus load of VIP's, in fact he does really.  As the minutes tick by, we're getting closer and closer to the hotel.  Finally we arrive with 10 minutes to spare. 
This is a traditional Poruwa Ceremony and Shan is in the Sri Lankan Air Force so there's a lot of pagaentry that will go with this wedding.
We all assemble in the foyer of the hotel to be escorted up the stairs by traditional Kandyan dancers and drummers and then we are led into the wedding area.  The dancers and drummers return to the foyer to lead the Bride (Udari) and her side of the family up the stairs to where we are all waiting for them.  She looks beautiful in her Kandyan wedding dress which is heavily embroidered.
All of the traditional features of the ceremony take place, the parents receive their gifts, the coconut is broken and before too long it's all over.  They leave the wedding stage under a guard of honour from the Sri Lankan Air Force.  It's all very nice and I'm loving being part of it all.
Now that the ceremony is over, I make my way to the tables to greet the family members and friends who I know.  I didn't realise that a lot of people know about me and many many times, I was taken away and introduced to another person who tells me, "I've heard all about you Miss Julia". 
Many many people compliment me on wearing a sari and tell me how beautiful I look.  I am really pleased that I made the decision to wear a sari and took the time to choose a coloour that complimented my skin colour.  It's yellow in colour, not too bright but also not a pastel either.  It is decorated with beautiful sequined flowers.  It's very fitting for the occasion.  I'm amazed at how comfortable I feel wearing a sari, totally feminine.
All the guests are seated and it's time for lunch, a traditional Sri Lankan rice and curry lunch.  I sit with Palitha and his wife Julitha.  Palitha is the shippng company CEO and Raja has struck up a good friendship with him and decided to invite him and his wife to the wedding.  That was such a nice thing to do.
I can't eat much lunch or drink too much, I'm a little nervous of needing to go to the toilet.  After we eat it's time for dancing.  Normally at a Sri Lankan wedding, the men dominate the dance floor but a few of the female members of the family and I have decided that we will take to the dance floor and give them a little competition.
A lot of the Air Force boys are dancing and by now, they've consumed a lot of alcohol and their mood is lively to say the least.  The music's lively and we head for the dance floor.  There's not much room but we manage to take over a fair portion of the floor and immediately the Air Force guys spy the young girls and try to engage them in dancing with them.  The girls look hautily away but I'm sure they're flattered.  It's all part of the game if I remember. 
We dance and dance to many songs as the afternoon goes by and more and more women take the opportunity to join us.  Something that I was told very rarely happens. 
It's now time for photo's of each guest with the Bride and Groom.  Shan beckons me to come onto the stage and have a photo with him and Udari. 
Before we know it, it's time for the Bride and Groom to leave.  Udari is dressed in a beautiful grey satin gown that's embroidered at the bottom with blue jewels in the shape of flowers.  The top is simple with shoe string straps tht are also bejewelled. 
They head to the foyer and true to Military form, they play a prank.  Somehow, Shan is in the boot of the car with a suitcase.  Not sure how that happened but the boys and other guests were in fits of laughter.  A great spectacle for people passing by as well.
Shan and Udari are to head to the Air Force base at Rathmalana where they are to take a short helicopter ride before returning to the hotel for the night and the following day, head on their honeymoon.
We all board our bus for the return journey to Raja's home.  In the morning, there was a lot of laughter and gaiety on the journey to the wedding, now its after 5pm and most people are so very tired.  I know that I just want to have a cup of tea.
They journey home takes a fairly long time, it's peak hour traffic and in Colombo that means a disaster.  Anyway, within an hour, we're home and I'm starting to remove my sari.  I'm not sure where to start, there are so many pins.  I gradually get it all unpinned and take it off.  It's a relief but in a strange way, it means that all of the day's festivities are over.
Now the hair, so much hairspray and so many pins.  After about 10 minutes, I'm ready for the shower and how delightful it was to have that cool Colombo water run over my body and to get my hair washed.
We're allvery tired and all I want to do is have a cup of tea and go to bed.  But, the sisters are cooking rice and curry for everyone and one can never refuse so I try to stay awake until it's time to eat.  I eat a little, brush my teeth and head to bed.  It's just after 9pm now and within about 45mins, the house is in darkness, everyone is in bed and sleep comes very easily.
Now we just have the Home Coming to get through and that will take place at the house on Monday 31st October and then it's all over.

I've had such a wonderful time, Raja's family have made me feel so welcome and an important part of this very important occasion. 
In Life, one doesn't always get to experience what I've experienced on my many trips to Sri Lanka.  All of this has been made possible because Raja, his wife Daya, their two sons Sasitha (Shan) and Pulasthi have made me feel a part of their family.